Another story

Nocfear · 11-06-2006, 07:50 PM

He creapt slowly through the woods, his boots making a hollow sound as the hit the dried earth. The hero stoped, hearing muffled vocies he crouched behind a near by log, looking ahead a few yards he saw where the vocies where coming from, a small little camp of about 20 people. Scaning the camp the hero noticed the women and children, but it didnt matter to him. Quietly the hero pulled out his bow quickly pulling an arrow from his qiuver. knoting the arrow he aimed. He fired, the arrow found it target. Screams filled the air as the hero pulled out his sword and charged the camp.
The hero brought his sword down on a defenceless traders, drawing up magic he shot a fire ball at a crowd of people. With a evil grin the hero killed everyone and everything that came in his way. Throwing fireballs at tents full of helpless people.
Soon after everything was in ruins the hero threw up his arms laughing at what he had just done, but then a striking pain came apon his head, falling to his knes the hero yelped in pain, droping his sword he reached his hand to his forhead, where not horns had started growing. after the pain had left, the hero stood up smiling, he thought to himself" oakvale is next".

weirdkidinabox · 11-06-2006, 09:33 PM

All the enjoyment of crazy slaughtering of innocent folk aside I found it a little short. Not so much a story as it is a paragraph from a story. No offence or anything. Your stroy grabs you then ends. Makes me sad T_T

Fable_Fan005 · 11-07-2006, 12:19 AM

i liked it but weirdkidiabox is right it wasent very long and u dident really get into the char. all we know its a evil man. it was ok

weirdkidinabox · 11-07-2006, 12:49 AM

If we're talking a proper decent story I would say 40, 000 words minimum. For a one shot or a quick short I would say go for roughly 1000-5000 words depending on what your writing and how you want it come across.

I liked it, violence always gets me going lol, I digress though, as I previously stated... too short...

Angel · 11-07-2006, 10:47 AM

But to be fair, it is the kind of excerpt you might find as the blurb on the back of a book which is what entices people to want to read more about it, so for that it gets a thumbs up from me. Why not expand on it some more, nocfear? I for one would like to see how you develop your story

Nocfear · 11-08-2006, 07:09 PM

Thanks guys much apprectation, I am working on more, and I am thinking a writing some kind of book, not and thing to serious as to say get published but as I write more I will contiue to post. I will put a like to the whole story when it is finished...
When I have more time..
Thanks again guys...

Nocfear · 11-08-2006, 07:40 PM

Guys i need your help I have writers block, I cant think of a name for the character above.
any ideas.

ALtesha · 11-09-2006, 04:51 PM

Um what about Sonrad? He's a caracter in one of my own personal books

i like the name

Nocfear · 11-29-2006, 06:51 PM

Yea thanks, I dont plan on getting it published or anything like that so dont worry about me makin money of you Name..

Sorry guys it has been a little while since I have been able to do much of anything I just got a second job and I joined the wrestling team. But I am in the mist of writing the rest of the story I think what I will do is every know and then I will post more of it expect some more of the story soon..
It will go in order so the first one I put is the start further down so on and so on.

Fable_Fan005 · 11-30-2006, 04:10 AM

Well you could use Xugan or what i did to find the name for my book i wont to google and tyeped in cool names, and greak names.