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Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 04:46 AM   #1
Vegeta
 
Location: Under a bridge
Posts: 1
Just something I made up real quick like

Fable: The 2 Heroes




Get Down! Sivu rolls quickly and casts a lightning spell toward the dragon, It does little damage. Shingota shot an arrow straight toward the Dragons head. The dragon Burns it out of the sky. Sivu jumps up to a higher cliff and jumps down with his sword going for the neck of the beast. As that is happening Kinark (A small peasant boy) starts gathering wood for the winter. Kinark loves to help his father in anyway he can. “Hey Kin you wont believe what’s happening!” (Kinark was always wanting to know about powerful heroes or fights) “What dad?” “Well I here that Sivu and Shingota are fighting the last Dragon in Albion!” “Wow! That’s amazing! Can we go watch!?” “*Chuckle* I think we would just get in the way son sorry.” “Aw man!”

Last edited by Vegeta : 03-01-2007 at 01:36 PM.
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 04:55 AM   #2
Albion Knight
 
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Nice start!
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 04:57 AM   #3
Vegeta
 
Location: Under a bridge
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Thanks .
Gary Paulson does this type of stuff (where he starts on one story and switches to another then eventually they meet.)
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 05:01 AM   #4
darthlime101
 
Location: Sandy, Oregon
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Nice intro. +rep Keep it up and theres more rep on the way.
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 05:02 AM   #5
Vegeta
 
Location: Under a bridge
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Thanks

(Lol I made another story and took like 3 hours on it and it didnt get one reply but this one might be good and it only took me 10 miniutes)
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 01:34 PM   #6
Kave
 
Location: Marceline - MO - USA
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like

i frickin hate it..

haha im jk but im out of rep..
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 01:35 PM   #7
Vegeta
 
Location: Under a bridge
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Ok can you tell me why?
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 01:36 PM   #8
droded
 
Posts: 3,611
Re: Just something I made up real quick like

I enjoyed reading it my friend. Looking forward to the next part.
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 01:37 PM   #9
Vegeta
 
Location: Under a bridge
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Thanks imma work on it after school.
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 02:54 PM   #10
Darg
 
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Pretty good start... Just make sure you don't jump straight into the action and whatever. Stories that go way too fast to the point of where they're hard to understand never do too well... Keep the work up though.
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 04:44 PM   #11
droded
 
Posts: 3,611
Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darg View Post
Pretty good start... Just make sure you don't jump straight into the action and whatever. Stories that go way too fast to the point of where they're hard to understand never do too well... Keep the work up though.
Excpet for "Travels of a Hero"!
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-01-2007, 05:08 PM   #12
Darg
 
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Quote:
Originally Posted by droded View Post
Except for "Travels of a Hero"!
Darn right. Very good, very random. A true work of genius... maybe.
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Re: Just something I made up real quick like
Old 03-02-2007, 12:32 AM   #13
Vegeta
 
Location: Under a bridge
Posts: 1
Re: Just something I made up real quick like

Part 2... (A little short but It will get better) (Im going to make it more exciting really quick also.)

“Hey Dad remember that day you said I would be able to go to any school I want If I was good?”

“Yes son have you found one you liked?”

“Yeah, The name of the school is Raven-Crow Boarding School.”
(Of course he was lying to get into a hero school)

“That sounds Nice where is it?”

“Um… Bower-Stone North? Yeah Bower-Stone North.”

“Well I will go get you signed up then boy!”

“NO!”

“What was that?”

“Oh I mean it is just that… Well I already filled out that stuff…”

“Hmmm… That’s Nice of you son.”

“You know me… always trying to make you proud dad!”

Kave Deserves rep for this to as he helped me think of some ideas.

Last edited by Vegeta : 03-02-2007 at 02:32 AM.
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