Cloud in time

Triz · 07-22-2007, 04:29 AM

Note:If you played Final Fantasy 7 the game,you'll understand this.If not,go find something better to read.This is a shot story about Cloud,after the expoilon in Final Fantasy 7.He will go..into...the Fable world.Chapter 1-"Where am I?"I thought I haerd Airth.She said,"I'll be there!".I thought where am I?I felt grass on my face.I see nothing but black.My name is Cloud.I'm 21 years old.I gotta open my eyes.My eyes are so havey.After a while,I'd open them.I saw a big plain.Nothing but trees and grass.I stood up.I felt for my sorwd.I still had it.The Buster Blade.There was a brige,far away.I thought,,"Thats where I'll go." *** *** After walking around to the brige,I didn't think.The brige was wooden.Under it was a river.After cossing it,I saw a bran,on the right.Then a sign on my left.I went to go read the sign.It said,"Orchard Farm".Farm?I gotta talk to someone,I thought.Soon,I saw a guy.I ran over to talk to him.Thats the end of chapter one.Should I keep going?

Sorry for spelling+if your confused.

droded · 07-22-2007, 05:15 AM

I didn't read it. I tried but my brain hurt too much.

No offence. (Played FF7 and everything)

Triz · 07-22-2007, 05:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by droded

I didn't read it. I tried but my brain hurt too much.

No offence. (Played FF7 and everything)

Thanks for try'n.
I wanted it to be good...

Triz · 07-22-2007, 06:23 AM

ANYBODY???plz!

HodgePodge · 07-22-2007, 06:27 AM

Okay Triz, I'm just going to give you my honest opinion. The spelling really kills it. And, to be totally honest, the story itself is lacking. Sorry. But don't give up, you may not be that good yet, but you have the desire to do it, which is really important

Triz · 07-22-2007, 06:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HodgePodge

Okay Triz, I'm just going to give you my honest opinion. The spelling really kills it. And, to be totally honest, the story itself is lacking. Sorry. But don't give up, you may not be that good yet, but you have the desire to do it, which is really important

Thanks!I know its lacking...I'll make anthoer one...maybe bout something eles than Final Fantasy 7.

Angel · 07-22-2007, 07:46 AM

Work as hard as you can on your spelling - if in doubt, see if someone else will proof read it for you via private message and then they can correct any errors before you post it. But keep trying and plugging away at writing because it's a very worthwhile activity and is known to improve your mind.

By all means continue...

Triz · 07-22-2007, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angel

Work as hard as you can on your spelling - if in doubt, see if someone else will proof read it for you via private message and then they can correct any errors before you post it. But keep trying and plugging away at writing because it's a very worthwhile activity and is known to improve your mind.

By all means continue...

To tell you the truth,I just wanted REP....but now,I really do want to write story,not for rep.Thanks though...

Adam · 07-22-2007, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Triz

To tell you the truth,I just wanted REP....but now,I really do want to write story,not for rep.Thanks though...

If you realy want rep. find something your good at then build on that, some people are Kings/Quenns of rep. like Sephi or my bud droded but people like you and me have to search for something to build on.

Keep on pressin' on Triz.

Triz · 07-22-2007, 08:25 PM

Thanks!