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FABLE: YOUR REAL MUM
There was once a boy called Willy who lived in a place called Albion. When he was a fresh new born, his parents abandoned him in a forest in knothole glade. There the boy found a new mother, which was a balverine, her name was Betty Crocker. Betty’s breast milk which was given to Willy made him strong and gave him healthy teeth as well as a high metabolism. At the age of 5 willy was already the strongest person in the whole of albion, his renown was already on legendary.
Sadly one day when willy and his mother were out with the rest of the family having a picnic in knothole glade, a crazy psychopathic women by the name of scarlet robe came charging at willy’s family and killed them all. Willy imeddiatley pulled out his shotgun and blew scarlets brains out, he then skinned her and wore her skin as a suit.
It was then that a kind old wood cutter man found willy under a tree, having a cry about what happened. The wood cutter man was high and didn’t realise at the time that it was actually a male that he was about to take into his home and have relations with. Willy didn’t mind as he was into that kind of stuff.
Anyway one thing led to another and willy had 2 kids. One boy, one girl. It was only then that the kind old wood cutter guy realised that he had it with another man. And hired a group of bandits to come into the town and kill Willy/scarlet. Anyway, the bandits killed everyone in the town and were about to kill the kind old wood cutter guy because he didn’t pay them. Willy instantly took off scarlets skin and gave it to the wood cutter guy, seeing as will had strong feelings for him. The bandits then killed willy and threw him out the front of the house. The kind old wood cutter guy put on the scarlet “robe”, skin suit whatever, and tried to run away, sadly some clown called sack of blades who wore a mask to scare little kids captured him and put him in a jail called mars-bar-gate prison which was made out of mars bars.
And that my friends is the true story of who your mum really was, she was actually your dad.
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