Jokes Page 11

loony ninja · 05-10-2007, 07:42 AM

So sue me if I wasn't up to scrolling through 10 pages of jokes.

FableFreak · 05-10-2007, 07:45 AM

You mean 3 pages of jokes... I don't mean anything by it, I'm just pointing out the fact that I already made this joke, and that they are literally, word for word, the same.

Walker · 05-10-2007, 03:46 PM

Deal. I'll call my lawyer, you head to the bank-- I need some money. [predatory grin]

Seriously, I need some money... now if only I could get some that easily...

And no, it's not three OR ten... it's eleven. [grin] It was nine when I went through and read them all and added my own... I think. Maybe it was already ten by then.

DrZoid · 09-10-2007, 12:36 AM

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Warning, this is a spoiler!

FableFreak · 09-10-2007, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrZoid

Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Warning, this is a spoiler!

Thanks for reviving this thread DrZoid, I've got some more jokes to tell.

Whats the difference between a hooker and a crack dealer?

Warning, this is a spoiler!

Triz · 09-10-2007, 02:36 AM

If you name Cloud, God, Barrett says,"The plant is dying' God!"Then Cloud says,"I don't care, I just my money!". I thought that is funny...
Note: This is form Final Fantasy 7.

HodgePodge · 09-10-2007, 02:40 AM

Ummmm...huh?

Triz · 09-10-2007, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HodgePodge

Ummmm...huh?

In the start of the game Barret says that the Plant is dying and Cloud doesn't care at first, but then Cloud starts to care. So, if you name Cloud, God, Barret says,"The plant is dying God!" Then Cloud, or is now know as God says,"I don't care, I just my money....". Also if you name everyone Sephiroth, it gets confusing... Also, if you name Barrett, Aeirths says,"Go Mr.T!"... I think is funny...

andythegill · 09-10-2007, 03:09 AM

A lady called her gynecologist, and asked for an "emergency" appointment. The receptionist said to come right in.

She rushed to the office, and was ushered right into an examination room. The doctor came into the exam room and asked about her problem.

She was very shy about her emergency problem, and asked the gynecologist to please examine her vagina.

So the doctor started to examine her. He stuck up his head after completing his examination. "I'm sorry, Miss," he said, "but removing that vibrator is going to involve a very lengthy , delicate and expensive surgical operation."

"I'm not sure I can afford it," sighed the young woman. "But while I am here could you just replace the batteries?

A woman is driving her car when she is pulled over by a a cop.
He says to her: "Ma'am, may i see your licence please? you were speeding".
The woman answers: "Oh no, officer, I don't have a licence, they took it after the 4th time i was caught driving drunk.".

The officer replies: "That is serious. Give me the car's registration forms, please".

The woman answers: "Oh, this is not my car. I stole it from my boss after i killed him. His body is in the trunk, by the way".

The cop is amazed and immidietly calls for backup while slowly moving away from the car, his hand on his gun.

When backup comes, the chief of the police approaches the woman with his gun pointed at her and orders her to get out of the vehicle.

The woman walks out, as ordered. Then the cheif says: "Ma'am, the officer said you reported a dead body in your trunk. please open it".

The woman acts amazed and when she opens the trunk, there is nothing there.

The surprised cheif says: "Can i also see your driving-licence?".

The woman opens her wallet and hands her licence to him.

The chief says: "Well, i'm soory ma'am, i don't know what to say. The officer over there told me you had a dead body in your trunk and that you didn't have a licence".

The woman smiles and says: "bet you that ******* also told you i was speeding, didn't he?

Walker · 09-10-2007, 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andythegill

A woman is driving her car when she is pulled over by a a cop.
He says to her: "Ma'am, may i see your licence please? you were speeding".
The woman answers: "Oh no, officer, I don't have a licence, they took it after the 4th time i was caught driving drunk.".

The officer replies: "That is serious. Give me the car's registration forms, please".

The woman answers: "Oh, this is not my car. I stole it from my boss after i killed him. His body is in the trunk, by the way".

The cop is amazed and immidietly calls for backup while slowly moving away from the car, his hand on his gun.

When backup comes, the chief of the police approaches the woman with his gun pointed at her and orders her to get out of the vehicle.

The woman walks out, as ordered. Then the cheif says: "Ma'am, the officer said you reported a dead body in your trunk. please open it".

The woman acts amazed and when she opens the trunk, there is nothing there.

The surprised cheif says: "Can i also see your driving-licence?".

The woman opens her wallet and hands her licence to him.

The chief says: "Well, i'm soory ma'am, i don't know what to say. The officer over there told me you had a dead body in your trunk and that you didn't have a licence".

The woman smiles and says: "bet you that ******* also told you i was speeding, didn't he?

That one made me grin. But I REALLY wouldn't want to be the one to really try it.