[Zerosum]

as a basic poem its fairly good, it has an archaic language style, i could actually imagine that being used in fable. good job :]

[MasterJh]

Has anyone read Marcus's poem from Fable 2? It's in the last demon door, in Fairfax Gardens. If i can be bothered to write it down then i will type it up for all to see.

[Lil_Shua]

Wow, I thought it was great. It actually sounds like it could be in a Fable II commercial.

[GsSKpoet]

this may sound incorrect as far as poetry goes but my dad has a friend who is a english teach and he told me never to ryhme in poems. and i do think you may have rhymed to much. but i did like it.

[MasterJh]

Oh well, i like to rhyme, i rhyme quite alot normally (lame, i know but oh well)

[plastic]

lol I like it.

[tillyferrari]

Originally Posted by MasterJh

Decisions, decisions

What will I become in this mythical land?
Will i become a King both regal and grand?
Will i become a wretch who is weak and old?
Will i become a Hero who's honoured and bold?
Maybe I'll steal and earn the title of "Thief"
And bring all my victims both sorrow and grief.
Perhaps i'll use magic like many before,
Using magic spells and learning ancient lore.
Maybe I'll explore a large distant cavern
Or I'll just end up in a nearby Tavern.
I might make a few new friends along the way
Or i'll be lonely at the end of the day.
I'll always have my faithful companion
Who'll help me on my journey through Albion.

Ok so this is my first real poem that i've written so it is probably shabby but can you guys leave some feedback about it, what you do and don't like. Cheers guys

Great Job ;
Very Well written; and Fable Orientated

[moonfever]

Really cool poem.

[Dr KillJoy]

Im not into poetry that much but that was pretty good

[begginfokillz]

I'd say that that poem you wrote was the best poem I've seen someone else write (i sometimes make poetry to, but darn, that is a good poem). I'd recommend you write some more

[MasterJh]

Originally Posted by begginfokillz

I'd say that that poem you wrote was the best poem I've seen someone else write (i sometimes make poetry to, but darn, that is a good poem). I'd recommend you write some more

Wow! Reading that comment has just made my day! I wrote this poem a heck of a long time ago and people are still giving me comments like this?!

I'm currently attempting another poem...This time it will have a Halo theme. If anyone wants to give it a read, PM me and i'll send it to you when it's done I've also dipped into story-telling a little bit. Got 5 pages of material so far...It's not brilliant but as my first ever "story" i think it's not too bad Again, if you want to give it a read, PM me (Just take note, i actually started writing it about a year and a half ago, gave it a rest and then recently started it back up).

Also, to anyone else who happens to stumble upon my poem, please don't forget to leave some feedback. ANY feedback is welcome. If you don't like how i rhymed "X" with "Y", tell me. If you love the inclusion of the faithful companion, tell me.


EDIT: WOW! This keeps getting better! I just noticed this has over 2,200 views!

[DarkenedSoul]

Originally Posted by begginfokillz

I'd say that that poem you wrote was the best poem I've seen someone else write (i sometimes make poetry to, but darn, that is a good poem). I'd recommend you write some more

You obviously don't read much poetry.

As a basic and childish poem, it's alright. Being judged as a real poem, it's pretty awful. Sorry.

Don't be so predictable with your rhyming, and rhyming doesn't necessarily mean poetry, either.

[MasterJh]

Originally Posted by DarkenedSoul

You obviously don't read much poetry.

As a basic and childish poem, it's alright. Being judged as a real poem, it's pretty awful. Sorry.

Don't be so predictable with your rhyming, and rhyming doesn't necessarily mean poetry, either.

As i said, i like to rhyme but i'll take your criticisms on board for my next one Thanks

[DarkenedSoul]

Originally Posted by MasterJh

As i said, i like to rhyme but i'll take your criticisms on board for my next one Thanks

Just use your creativity a little more.

[Vero Caerso]

That was good.. apart from the end part.
I mean through most of the poem you were rhyming but at the end you sort of ruined it by doing that.

I still think its very good, im sure lionhead would love to use this.

Keep up the good work :]