Toymaker... Hmm

Sunshine<3 · 10-09-2008, 06:20 AM

Short Story
One time, in a country far far away (or not so far). There was a toymaker by the name of Curtis. He wasn't any old toymaker (in fact, he was 31) but he was a young, genius one. One that works with microchips. This is his story……

Sunshine<3 · 10-09-2008, 06:28 AM

Dude... I just cannot put the whole thing on there. yeesh
I must be doing something wrong.

Curtis was working with one of his toys one day, when he ran out of microchips.
"GAK!"
He said.
"Not cool!"
So he went to the microchip maker Conway (who was, indeed, old.)
"Need more chips, please" Curtis said
"You ran out?" Conway answered.
"Yup."
Conway thought for a moment, then said
"Alright. I see you need more chips but nothing is free… So if I give you 50 chips, you must give me 3 of your very best toys that I can give to my granddaughter who is very very sick and she that could play with in the hospital."
"Deal!" Curtis answered.

Sunshine<3 · 10-09-2008, 06:29 AM

The next month, Curtis came by Conway's shop with the three toys.
"These are very smart toys for your grandaughter, they will respond to her voice when she talks to them. I've even made one of them with your voice, so even when you're not there, she can hear you."
"Thank you Curtis. So you're all powered up now eh?"
"Yes, indeed. Thank you for those chips sir. I was running out of power"
For indeed, Curtis was a robot.

Warpedhero · 10-10-2008, 04:28 PM

Very Interesting story. I like the twist in the ending

Jaap · 10-10-2008, 10:13 PM

...
That was so...
Totally random...

Well,
No offense but its a weird story.

moonfever · 10-10-2008, 11:27 PM

Short, but interesting. Nice read.

Walker · 10-10-2008, 11:49 PM

That is indeed a damn good story. A (very) short story, yes, but a much better short story than any I've ever managed. (My short stories usually end up approaching the thirty-page mark. Not good.)

Might be cool to make it into a more substantial story, if you have literary pretensions of that style, or are just bored.

Seems familiar for some reason, though... you didn't join at an earlier date and post it, did you?

Sunshine<3 · 10-12-2008, 06:09 AM

Hey, thanks guys.
It is pretty random.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walker

That is indeed a damn good story. A (very) short story, yes, but a much better short story than any I've ever managed. (My short stories usually end up approaching the thirty-page mark. Not good.)

Might be cool to make it into a more substantial story, if you have literary pretensions of that style, or are just bored.

Seems familiar for some reason, though... you didn't join at an earlier date and post it, did you?

It was for a literary writing class and I had to make it up on the fly.
So..
No, I've never posted that story anywhere before.
This is my first time joining here haha.

shampoomuffin · 10-12-2008, 08:29 AM

i wrote something similiar in 6th grade for a writing assignment

TRA Rotid · 10-12-2008, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walker

(My short stories usually end up approaching the thirty-page mark. Not good.)

So 30 pages is too long?

Jaap · 10-12-2008, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TRA Rotid

So 30 pages is too long?

If its a short story,
Yes

And my opinion again,
I dont like it,
You might think im mean, But no i just dont like it.

Walker · 10-12-2008, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sunshine<3

Hey, thanks guys.
It is pretty random.
It was for a literary writing class and I had to make it up on the fly.
So..
No, I've never posted that story anywhere before.
This is my first time joining here haha.

Hmm... Okay, I'm delusional again. Cool. Yeah, creative writing classes are good for scrounging up random and creative (if possibly a bit nonsensical) stories. Might make more sense if it were batteries instead of microchips. Something a bit more likely to run down/burn out/whatever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TRA Rotid

So 30 pages is too long?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaap

If its a short story,

Yes

And my opinion again,
I dont like it,
You might think im mean, But no i just dont like it.

Yeah, thirty pages is much too long. The problem is that I A) am not the most brief of writers and B) I usually can't seem to fit all that I need in a short span. I'm trying to introduce the characters, the world, the conflict, and it just spirals out of control.

Sunshine<3 · 10-12-2008, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaap

If its a short story,

Yes

And my opinion again,
I dont like it,
You might think im mean, But no i just dont like it.

That's ok. I dont care if you like it or not.
Doesn't change anything haha.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walker

Hmm... Okay, I'm delusional again. Cool. Yeah, creative writing classes are good for scrounging up random and creative (if possibly a bit nonsensical) stories. Might make more sense if it were batteries instead of microchips. Something a bit more likely to run down/burn out/whatever.

Well, his chip was 30 years old haha.

Walker · 10-12-2008, 03:35 PM

Ah-ha! Excellent rationalization, truly stupendous.

Sunshine<3 · 10-12-2008, 03:40 PM

Yeeeeaaah boy.
You know how I do. hahaha idk