Travels of a Hero Page 5

Darg · 02-16-2007, 04:01 PM

I ran in the complete darkness for awhile, constantly tripping over random items I found on the floor. The first was a box of matches, the second was a torch, and the third was a signal flare. Boy, I was so freaking stupid! I realized out of thin air that I was falling... I had stumbled straight off of a cliff I couldn't even see! I braced myself for death or my entire body splintering in half, but instead felt myself land on a soft area- it was the bird I killed! I looked up and then saw what I had so long searched for- the exit! A bright golden light streamed in the dark cavern, and I sprinted for it.

droded · 02-16-2007, 04:22 PM

I emerged, and it seemed I was in the basement of thr Grey house. I guess I'll have to go to Bowerstone North and teach Lady grey a lesson (After a few 'other' things if you kow what I mean!)

Darg · 02-16-2007, 05:23 PM

The smell of rotting something-or-the-other filled the musty basement. With a sudden, huge crack and a bang, a skeletal hand broke through the floorboards and grabbed my leg. I screamed and hacked at it, holding on to an old hanging vine for support. I looked over and noticed a skeleton lying silently with a dagger through its ribs. This was definetly not my day...

droded · 02-16-2007, 06:50 PM

I took Orkon's Club from my trouser pocket and gently whacked the sketal hand. The sheer power of the bludgeon was enough to make the whole basement implode. I quickly jumped out of the basement and watched as the whole house disappeared into nothing. I walked down to Barrow Fields, and bought a blue mushroom from a trader there. "Awww yeah! I'm going to enjoy this!"

Darg · 02-20-2007, 04:02 PM

Suddenly, up the road from Darkwood, a black rider, no four black riders could be seen, each riding on a moose. Would this day ever end? One pulled from its pocket a rubber band, pulled it back and let it fly, nailing me right between the eyes. The mushroom trader beside me screamed like a pansy and plunged in the river, swimming for his life. In the midst of all this...

droded · 02-20-2007, 05:24 PM

the two hippies next to me were having the time of their lives! I envied them for a while, and then realised what I had to do. I sprinted towards the four moose riders and, holding the blue mushroom, split it into 4 pieces. I plunged each section into their black mouths. Let them forget their troubles in this racist land.
An good hour later, on of the black moose riders called Rastafari leant me his moose. The mooses name was...

Darg · 02-20-2007, 05:51 PM

Forkwench the mighty one-eyed moose with the power of (drumroll) one semi-retarded moose! I hopped on the moose as one of the thankful remaining traders presented me with a sack of blue mushrooms for my heroic efforts and the hippies saluted me. I rode off to Oakvale, laughing all the way. But not all was right in Oakvale either. As I rode into the town square...

droded · 02-20-2007, 06:00 PM

I noticed that the town was actually on fire... And there were dead Oakvalians lying across town.. "Schweet!" I thought as I dug through the pockets of one of the rich ones.
I heard someone crying on the other side of town. I casually strolled down, and it was just this little kid crying over his father or something. He looked quite rich, so I knocked him unconscious with my banjo, and asked Forky to watch my back.
The kid's dad had a nametag, "Brom."
"Hahaha what a crap name" I said in my head as I searched him for cash. Any cash I found I put in my hair for safekeeping.
The kid woke up, and I managed to convince him I was there to save him by casting a huge Heal spell, which revived the whole village.
We strolled down onto...

Darg · 02-20-2007, 06:06 PM

the dock of the city and I looked around. Wait a moment! The bar was still open. I pushed the kid in the water on accident (or was it) with the back of my banjo and sprinted to the bar. I burst through the front door dramatically looking around. I stepped over to the bar, ringing a rusty bell on the counter. "Holy crap! What do you have to do for service around here?" I bellowed. It was then I realized the innkeeper was dead. I leaped over the counter, took a beer keg off its stand and took it under my arm out to Forkwench. First, blue mushrooms, now fresh beer! Life was good. I walked over to the moose, but instantly realized...

droded · 02-20-2007, 06:10 PM

The moose now had TWO EYES thanks to my heal spell! The moose bellowed and started licking my face genereously.
Blue mushrooms, Beer, all we need is tha ladies aww yeah! Next stop-Bordello.
I hopped on my moose, and ran through oakvale, knocking Maze into the water as well as the kid.
Unfortunately, he was still as smart as a semi retarded moose, so we ended up in twinblades Camp. There was this dude selling beef jerky. I...

LionHeadTex · 02-20-2007, 06:23 PM

Traded my moose in for the food, I would be better off on foot. Little did I know the moose would ambush the whole camp and try and find me. So it was a good deal. Well..somewhat. I had food, but now I had the retarded moose AGAIN. Our journey was an adventurous one to say at the least. As we strided towards bowerstone, we were encountered by a group of bandits...

Darg · 02-20-2007, 06:27 PM

none other than the not-so-legendary Cornstab Bandit Clan. They wielded vicious boards with nails thrust through them and... little else. I mowed through them with my moose, occaisionally swooping down my blade to nick them. That being done, I moved on through Bowerstone. I entered the gates and got off my moose, only to realize that something was wrong here. What the hell is wrong with Albion today, I thought. In Bowerstone...

droded · 02-20-2007, 08:12 PM

everyone was wearing pink bathrobes and green pirate hats - some strange celebration no doubt! Me and my moose stared in disbelief as they started skipping around the town, sprinkling some sort of dust on everything.
I got off my moose and fed him a blue mushroom to keep him busy. Now was the time, I would finally see Lady Grey!

(Gee I hope more people actually read this thread...)

Zarimoth · 02-20-2007, 08:57 PM

and there she was before me, what was left of her that is, the rest was being stomped on a few meters away by a sandgoose

Angel · 02-21-2007, 10:56 AM

A sandgoose! I thought to myself. Hurrah! So long have I waited to see this fabled creature and now it is there in front of me...

I crept slowly forward with a lasso in my hand, never taking my eyes off the beast and stepping over bits of Lady Grey as I went. The sandgoose did not notice me as I came up close behind it and in one swift motion, I let fly with the lasso and watched as it settled around the neck of my quarry. Unfortunately, the sandgoose did notice that and with a screech of rage that shook the earth, it galloped off, yanking me off my feet and leaving my suspended in the air, going at a terrific pace. I called to my bewildered moose, but to no avail - he was already completely stoned on the blue mushrooms and could do nothing but giggle and then eat forty boxes of chocolates before promptly falling asleep.

Bouncing and rebounding off the flanks of the sandgoose as we headed towards the desert, I knew that my only chance of escape would be....