Travels of a Hero

[droded]

to let go. This was no option as I would also let my massively legendary beast free. I quickly thought up a scheme, and I let out a tremendous squelch. My dancing pony gallopped up next to the sandgoose, with three bordello girls on his back.

"No Buford! You misheard me! I said POSSE!"

[Vegeta]

Lol I heard that before it was like on Family Guy or something right?

[Darg]

I leaped into the air, landing on my pony in a bizzare zoro-esque ordeal before I pulled out my bow and yelled for one of the bordello girls to take the reigns. With that freakish old Polly steering, I stood up (not a very wise thing on my part) and let an arrow fly into the air. I had aimed too high and accidentally killed a desert hobbe. Oh well, no loss. I notched another arrow, aiming for the soft underbelly of the beast, but then I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Something was chasing us!

[Angel]

It was that moose! High on blue mushrooms, it had woken up from its sleep and came running after us, hallucinating that we were evil spiders trying to kill it. The moose was not just stoned but absolutely crazy, snorting and pawing at the ground. Knowing that a moose could have a stand off with a locomotive (futuristic mode of transportation) and live to tell the tale, we decided in haste to...

[droded]

Throw that hag Polly off as bait. Now that it's just me and Lady Sophia, things were looking gooooood! I began casting a fireball spell, which started as a small spark but soon became a burning ball of gas as huge as a tractor wheel! I flung it at the sandgoose's *AHEM* and it shrieked in pain and collapsed promptly. Acting quickly, I ran and swiftly guillotined it. My..

[Darg]

pony however, did not fare so well. It crashed into a dead tree a few feet away and crumpled, sending Sophia flying high... well not really. She skidded a few hundred feet and didn't quite make it... There's plenty back at the Bordello, I thought. But the grief didn't even touch me. I had singlehandedly killed the fricking sandgoose. Or did I?

[droded]

After my victory dance, a constant noise caught my attention. A man with a huge hoodie behind me was clapping.
"Who are you?" I asked. The mysterious man took off his hoodie revealing a large afro. In this afro, was a red afro comb, with the word "droded" Incribed on it in gold.
While I was distracted by his massive hair, and good looks, it seems the sandgoose had recovered, it had grown a new head!
I felt a sharp pain in my back; the Sandgoose had drilled straight to my spinal cord.
I watched in awe as this man searched around in his afro and took out a great sword- but he only held it with one hand! The giant bird ran towards him and with one swoop, he slightly scratched the Sandgoose and it swiftly imploded. I passed out. When I woke up it seems I was healed and so was Sophia. We had spent the night together. All seemed well, but then I found something so terrible it would change my life forever; a broken condom! I...

[Darg]

bellowed in fury, but then realized that the mysterious dude with the huge hair was standing over me once again... with the other bordello girls by his side. Dammit! He took all the credit for killing the Sandgoose. I reached into my hair to pull out my sword, realizing for the fourth time I didn't have enormous hair. Number one on my to-do-list... grow big hair. To the handsome, funky-haired man I shouted,

[droded]

"OH MY GAWD YOUR SO COOL! TEACH ME PLEASE!"
"Uhh sure dude, my names droded but all the ladies call me Froded!" he replied.
He smiled and all the bordello girls fell to their knees. Why..

[Darg]

I was rather jealous I admit, but nonetheless became his apprentice, training for nights and days until finally, I did it! I grew an afro, large and glowing in awesomeness... It was astounding. After those long, hard months of training with him, I left him to go venturing once more on my way to wherever in the heck I thought I was going to. Then I remembered the long lost memory of my old nemesis, the Doctor! With my newfound hair-do I felt I could take him on and win... I began my pursuit for him the next day. First...

[droded]

thing the next morning I set off to knothole glade, hopefully he will still be there after our battle 2 months ago. I hopped on Buford and galloped off to Avo's Temple. When we got there we encountered the Doctor.
"Oh crap. I was meant to buy a weapon in town!" I panicked. Searching around I saw a sword stabbed into a rock. I pulled it out and...

[Darg]

suddenly, a crowd cheered around me. What the- I forgot that and instantly plunged into battle, chasing after the doctor down the hill at the pub. He whirled around, his dark cloak and ugly mustache whipping around as he hurled something at me. It was small, metallic... it was a bomb! I dived out of the way, hearing an immense explosion. The statue in the center of the glade was blown off of its base and it rained stone accross the village. Screaming and various ranting ensued, the crazed townspeople running around like chickens with their heads cut off. I saw the doctor in the corner of my eye again, robbing the abandoned weapons shop dry. I...

[droded]

Picked up my cell and started to call backup. Instantly thousands of tiny green men flowed out of the nearby houses. The started covering the doctor and soon, he was no more. I...

[Darg]

cracked up laughing and just about wet myself until I realized the tiny green men were coming after me. I scaled the Knothole Glade gate, taking potshots with my bow into the angry mob of them. Suddenly, from atop the village hill, the chief came striding, ugly pants and all to the rescue. He...

[droded]

lifted his arm. At first I was confused as to why he was doing this but soon I realised what was going on. His incredibly bad BO was suffocating the Little green men! I cheered until I almost died my self from these fumes. I...