The True Fable Mob

[Fanfictioner]

Warning, this is a spoiler!

Prolouge:
1,000 Years after the fall of Jack the world of Albion got more evil by the day and rejected heroes from the Heroes Guild founded a mafia called the Meat Street Butchers. It stared off with 50 people 40 Ex-heroes and 10 hired guns. They made their base of operations in the man who rid of the Jack Of Blades house in Bowerstone South which the Hero was selling due to his mayorship of bowerstone. The Godfather was Lightining Thunders son who passed training but was talked into being evil by the mask of Jack Of Blades hanging in the heroes guild's Library.

Warning, this is a spoiler!

Chapter 1 - Taking Over the Streets.
"How dare the Meat Street Butchers step foot on our territory!" says Godfather of the Executioners the rival gang. "We must stop them they took protection money from our Merchants they damaged out property they took the our prostitues they killed every customer in our Brothels. Now its full out War!". as the Executioners plot the Butchers party. "We took over the Executioners terrirtory tonight!" The thugs in attendance start pounding their beers on the table and continuosly yell Oi!. Lightining then interupts the party and takes 40 members to an abandoned house just outside of the executioners territory "For now on this place is used to spy on our rivals whos Base of opperations is directly infront of us im going to need Shadow and Dark Maverick III to stay here tonight, if somthing happens yell Bloodlust!." The rest of the thugs head back to the Tavern and spend all night drinking. Later on that night Thunder Lightinings dad comes back to Albion one last time to check on him. "What are you doing son?" Lighting looks confused he rubs his eyes and then replys "Wh..What are your doing here?" Thunder sees that his son is now evil and says "What happened to you! you used to be a great hero , Now your a bloody villan!" Lighting gets angry and takes out his sword "Dad , this is for you!" Lightining slashes his dad and knocks him unconcious. He then proceedes to kill his father by sticking the sword threw his head. Thunders soul comes out of his body and Thunders aura tuns red he was another victim of the possessed sword.....all of a sudden they heard a faint cry is said " BLOODLUST.......

Should i make more?

[/POLL]

[Fanfictioner]

Chapter 1 part 2 - Bloodlust

After the scream was heard the whole gang ran to the abandoned house to find screamers sorrounding the injured thugs. Lightining ran to kill one of the screamers but then what he saw was to much. His father was one of the Screamers, Thunder as a ghost looked at Lightining in dismay he pulled out his hammer while Lightining pulled out his sword they fought back and foruth untill thunder had Lightining at the edge of his balcony when he was about to finish him Shadow rushed up and dove infront of Lightining taking the blow and hitting his head on the wall knocking him unconcious. Lightining took the chance and pinned his legendary sword through Thunders body pinning him to the wall. He then procedes to capture his soul into his sword by reciteing a master poem "do aka he man ****-eo thou soul took in the spawn of hell do thy best kill thy fellow man summon soul in sword forever." after that Thunder started to mutate then he was summoned into the sword. After that the other Screamers dissapeared, "Shadow are you okay?" asked Lightining "Yes im fine but you do owe me for that." After that the famous hero named Hero found out about Thunders death and started to laugh maniacly somthing evil has taken over his body he became what he hated....The next day Lightining went to a gypsy a girl one infact a beatufull one and he didnt have to pay because he did her a favor and had sex with her. She said his path was wicked and that they would get married and that he would own Albion but it will be a long path then she stopped and said she cant find anymore. Lightining then started to think what if he dies on his quest to own the world...
a dark myst fills the room and in fright Lightining..........

this is a 10 chapter story each chapter has atleast 2 parts.

[Fanfictioner]

how do u pplz like it please reply

[Fanfictioner]

Chapter 1 part 3 IT was taken

Out of fright lightining gets his sword ready what he saw was amazing the Jack Of Blades came to him , "It was taken!" he keeps saying untill lightining asks "What was taken?" "My mask!" then the Jack Of Blades says "If you retrieve my mask i will join your mob and we can become the most powerfull mob in Albion." Lightinings eye's glowed dark red but then he realised it was a setup. He knows the Jack Of Blades would never live up to his promise , Lightining had rageing fury he went to grab Jack but his hands went right threw him , then Lightining woke up in his bed with his followers standing before him..... to be continued

[Lupus]

honetly seems a bit brief with not enough fleshing out of the characters and a mafia story doesnt seem right although i think this is again the lack of fleshing out of the story....try going back through and making things more in depth

Just my 2 cents